You do have the potential to change and feel better. One starting point for change is to take a good look at how you think and feel about yourself and what you do – sometimes we get into unhelpful patterns which keep us stuck:

  • do you tend to put other people’s happiness before your own? Be kind to yourself first and you’ll find you feel happier, more energised and able to think about what others need - in a balanced way.
  • worry too much about what other people think of you? Most of the time people are too busy getting on with their own lives to be focusing on you – try to think about what you like about yourself instead
  • do people around you undermine you? Most of us have a handful of people in our lives that we spend the majority of our time with. Choose to spend time with people that are good for you
  • when things go wrong do you blame other people? Challenge this tendency! It might sound harsh but until you think about the possibility that you play a part in what happens to you, you’ll keep on dodging responsibility and miss chances to change for the better.
  • do you get stuck in the past or worry about the future? Try to focus on the here and now. You can’t change the past so don’t dwell on it and spending too much time anticipating the future is unhelpful. Be in the present and make the most of it.

Find yourself answering ‘yes’? List 3 achievable things you can do to tackle the issue. For instance for bullet point 1 you could 1) practise saying ‘no’ to other people’s demands 2) create some down time for yourself to do things as simple as going to the gym/relaxing in the bath/meeting friends for coffee 3) arrange an evening out. Make a plan and start today - you're likely to feel better if you stick to your plan.